Doctor, My Eyes

“Doctor, my eyes have seen the years
And the slow parade of fears, without crying
Now I want to understand
I have done all that I could
To see the evil and the good, without hiding
You must help me if you can
Doctor, my eyes
Tell me what is wrong” – Jackson Browne (1972)

A few years ago I began to notice that my vision was blurry every morning- when I turned the light on, it was blinding, and when I attempted to read anything, the letters were all a blur. But after a few minutes, my vision got clearer. I brushed it off as my eyes just adjusting to the light, until I had my annual eye exam, and the ophthalmologist asked if I ever heard of “Fuchs’ dystrophy”.

Fuchs’ dystrophy is a disease of the cornea. It is when cells in the corneal endothelium gradually die off. These cells normally pump fluid from the cornea to keep it clear. When they die, fluid builds up and the cornea gets swollen and puffy. Vision becomes cloudy or hazy. Fuchs’ dystrophy has two stages. In the early stage, vision is usually hazy in the morning. In the later stages, your blurry or hazy vision will not get better as the day goes on. Too much fluid builds up during sleep and not enough dries up during the day. Also, tiny blisters may form in the cornea. The blisters get bigger and eventually break open, causing eye pain. Other symptoms include a sandy or gritty feeling in your eyes, and being extra sensitive to bright light.

I remembered that my mom had cornea transplants later in her life. Now it is my turn. I put it off as long as possible, but when it became difficult even with glasses to read the newspaper, do the crossword puzzle, or see the text on my phone, I realized it was time for surgery. If I waited much longer, my poor vision would eventually prohibit me from driving.

I admit I was extremely nervous. I was under the impression that I would be under “twilight sedation”, like a colonoscopy, where I’m out like a light and wake up when it’s over. But then I was informed by the anesthesiologist that it was lighter than a colonoscopy sedation, and I would be fairly awake during the procedure, but not care. All I would see would be bright light and I wouldn’t feel anything. I was nervous until the moment he said “ok, you’re going to start feeling good now”. I remember them saying “we’re inserting the lens now” and *we’re transplanting your cornea now”, and all I remember seeing were the pretty bright lights. Not once did I think “oh nooo, my eye is sliced open, get me out of here!” I would have been perfectly happy to lie there all day. Funny how that works. The challenge afterwards is laying flat on my back staring at the ceiling for 3 straight days. As I’m typing this I’m holding my phone over my head. I can get up briefly to eat or go to the bathroom, but that’s about it. I’m a side-sleeper, so lying in my back is really uncomfortable, not to mention boring. I had a post-surgery check-up and the doctor told me everything looks good. I can just see vague shapes 24 hours after surgery but she said I should be seeing good within 5 days, after the gas bubble that was inserted into my eye to keep the donor graft in place clears.

Special thanks to Dr. Syed at Wills Eye Hospital- she’s fantastic. And to nurse Eva for being my caretaker, helping with my eye drops and helping me get around.  I’m looking forward to getting my sight back in this eye real soon, and then scheduling eye number 2, so I can do it all over again. Yippee!