“When I got the news today
I didn’t know what to say
So I just hung up the phone
I took a walk to clear my head
This is where the walkin’ lead
Can’t believe you’re really gone
Don’t feel like goin’ home
So I’m gonna sit right here
On the edge of this pier
And watch the sunset disappear
And drink a beer”
- “Drink A Beer”- Luke Bryan (2013)
My blog is about what it’s like for me to live life in my “golden years”, and unfortunately in addition to enjoying life to its fullest, as we age, we also inevitably witness the passing of many friends and loved ones. I was going to save this topic for a later time, but the unexpected death of a fellow Sellersville Theater usher last week prompts today’s post. I’ve sadly lost several usher friends over the years- we tend to be an older group. Jones was a long-time usher at Sellersville. I’ll always remember his smile and his love of live music. I believe the last time I saw him was at my Sellersville Theater retirement party last year. He will certainly be missed.
As I look back over my life, so many people I’ve known are no longer with us. Besides the obvious heartbreak over the loss of parents, family members and pets (which I won’t discuss here), many others stand out in out in my memory as well. There are obviously too many to name them all, but some losses were particularly difficult or shocking to deal with at the time.
The first time I went to a viewing I was about 12 years old. A fellow Boy Scout passed away suddenly, and the Troop attended his memorial. I didn’t know him well, and it kills me that I cannot remember his name. And no one else I know remembers it either, but his funeral is still very clear in my memory. I was dressed in my Boy Scout uniform and was waiting in the receiving line to greet his mother next to his casket. I don’t believe anyone told me what to say or how to express sympathy. I was just a kid and didn’t know better- I believe all I said to his mother was “hi”. Well, his mother just burst into tears- I believe because I somehow reminded her of her son. I’ll never forget that moment.
Of course every loss of a family member was very difficult and I don’t really care to discuss them all here, but I particularly remember the death of my great-Aunt Marie, my grandfather’s sister. She didn’t drive, so when her husband died, she depended on our family to help her get around, and she would always be with us for the holidays and birthday celebrations. I remember that Aunt Marie and I shared the same birthday- June 19th, so we had a special bond. One day when I was a teenager, I went with my dad to pick her up as we often did, but she wasn’t coming to the door. Dad had a key, so we went into the house. We called her name and we each started walking around the place looking for her. I went into her bedroom, and found her lying dead on the floor. That was another tough one to experience.
My first personal friend to pass away was Tom Roberts, whom I discussed in a previous post. I was 38 when Tom died from pancreatic cancer. He was so young- that was a real gut-punch. There were many others to follow- my co-worker, Bob Michalak, who was an avid distance runner and died of a heart attack while running near his home; the fellow adult TaeKwon Do Black Belt student, Tom Chipley, who died during a rainstorm as he tried to rescue his dog from a storm drain; the former Sellersville Theater usher, Bruce Hensler, who was piloting a private plane with his daughter and they died when the plane crashed. It goes on and on. You just never know when your time is up. Each loss was hard to take, but I have many good memories of them to help me get by.
If you’ve been following my blog, you know that attending live music events with friends and getting to know many local musicians has been a big part of my retirement. Sadly, many of them have passed as well. We surely miss being with our friends Adrian and Sue and Suzi and Patti-Ann and Georgi and Lynne and so many others at concerts. And then there are also the musicians we got to know who also passed- TJ, Richie, Major, Winkle, Billy, Diana and others – they were all part of my broad musical family. So many great memories of all of them! But the music lives on, and whenever I’m feeling down, going to hear live music with our friends always picks me up!
And so it goes in our “golden years”. I’ve learned to accept our mortality but not dwell on it. Each day is special. We have to make the most of it- take a walk, attend a show, plant some flowers, spend time with friends and family, listen to music, go to the beach, take a swim, play with your pets, watch a ballgame, ride a bike, play a sport, continue to get educated on a topic of your choice, volunteer for a non-profit organization, get involved in your community, play a game, help someone in need, write a blog. Have fun! And every now and then it’s OK to “sit right here… and drink a beer” and remember our departed loved ones, as so aptly described in Like Bryan’s song.
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